A particular girl was suggested as a potential Shiduch and thank God it worked out. To my surprise however, my friend asked me to pay him the $2000 Shadchan fee and he quoted the following Halacha. I don’t have that type of money and I would never have agreed to pay it. Isn’t this extortion? He tells me that the author of this halacha is “Horav Yosef Yeshaya Braun, shlita, member of the Badatz of Crown Heights”:
A shadchan, one who arranges a shidduch, match, should be paid for their work. There is a clear halachah in Shulchan Aruch that a shadchan should be paid a brokerage fee, as any other type of broker. The amount to be paid is determined by minhag hamokom, according to the going rate in that community. Moreover, when one asks a shadchan to arrange a shidduch, the shadchan acquires the halachic status of an employee and should be paid the rate of a similar employed worker. The requirement to pay a shadchan applies to anyone who makes a shidduch, not only a professional shadchan, but even a friend, a colleague, etc.
Firstly Mazal Tov on the great news. May you both merit to build together a Bayis Ne’emon b’Yisroel.
With regards to your question, indeed according to principles of Shulchan Aruch one may be required to pay the shadchan even if his or her services were not requested and the parties did not enter into a costs agreement beforehand and even if the shadchan is a friend. In practice however this often does not apply.
Some incorrectly justify this "fee" by the very fact that the Shadchan provided the parties with a tangible benefit and compare it to a Din in Shulchan Aruch Choshen Mishpot chapter 375. This however is incorrect. A Shadchan merely presents the parties with an opportunity. In absence of a prior agreement, brokerage fees are only payable where the fee is unavoidable (as in Shulchan Admu"r Laws of Ribis paragraph 25). Cf. Minchas Asher part 2 Simon 119.
The precise and more accurate basis for this payment is one's requirement to pay a hired employee. To qualify for a particular payment for unsolicited services that do not intrinsically possess a financial benefit, 3 conditions must be met:
1. That the Shadchan wasn't just making a suggestion but, like a broker, actually spent (considerable) time coaching and talking to the parties to make it work.
2. That there is an actual going rate that all people who broker Shiduchim expect and demand, and no one (locally) does it gratuitously.
3. That this going rate and expectation is common knowledge.
Since many do it for the Mitzvah or for the thrill of being the successful person behind a Shiduch, in most cases a financial arrangement cannot be assumed and the astronomical fee your Shadchan is demanding probably isn't payable even if he spent time on the Shiduch. You can acceptably assume that the suggestion was being offered as a favor and because it's a Mitzva. This is especially true these days where official Shadchonim state their price in advance. This should indicate that where a fee was not stipulated by the casual "Shadchan", s/he may only be expecting a symbolic gift or "thank-you" for his or her efforts. Alas, the fact that some expect payment after the fact can be because they heard of this "halacha” and not the other way around.
This response is intended just to provide a general overview of the subject matter. Halachic advice should be sought about your specific circumstances.
Can we host a Minyan at our home in an area that a Chabad House, run by a local shliach, already exists? At the moment there's no Minyan at the Chabad House and our home is the only option. The local shliach is not happy with what we're doing (he even tells people not to attend our Minyan!), but many of them have had negative experiences with him and wouldn’t Daven there anyway.
Generally speaking, one is permitted to form a new minyan or shul if there’s a legitimate motive and considerable attempts have already been made to resolve disagreements and personal differences. More specifically however, there can sometimes be an issue of hasagas gvul (unacceptable competition) and only an impartial Rov (or Beis Din) presiding over the matter can give a definitive answer.
You could wait for the Shliach to invite you to a Din Torah, but a more praiseworthy and commendable approach would be to take the first step and suggest this avenue to the local Shliach. This would demonstrate a genuine desire to do what is right and a readiness to invest diligent effort to achieve true peace.
The content of this response is intended to provide a general guide to the subject matter. Specialist advice should be sought about your specific circumstances.